Advantages Of Being A Woman
Why it’s better to be a Woman!
1. We got off the Titanic first.
2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.
3. Our boyfriend’s clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.
4. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.
5. We can cry and get off speeding fines.
6. We’ve never lusted after a cartoon character or the central female figure in a computer game.
7. Taxis stop for us.
8. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.
9. We don’t look like a frog in a blender when dancing.
10. Free drinks, Free dinners, Free movies … (you get the point).
11. We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we’re gay.
12. We can hug our friends without wondering if WE’RE gay.
13. New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.
14. It’s possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower.
15. We don’t have to fart to amuse ourselves.
16. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.
17. We can congratulate our team-mate without ever touching her butt.
18. If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.
19. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.
20. If we’re dumb, some people will find it cute.
21. We don’t have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in.
22. We have the ability to dress ourselves.
23. We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.
24. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we’re aware that we look like an idiot.
25. Our friends won’t think we’re weird if we ask whether there’s spinach in our teeth.
26. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.
27. We’ll never regret piercing our ears.
28. We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.
29. We know which glass was ours by the lipstick mark.
30. We have enough sense to realize that the easiest way to get out of being lost is to ask for directions
You can cry without pretending there’s something in your contact.
You actually get extra points for sitting on your butt, watching sports.
If you’re a lousy athlete, you don’t have to question your worth as a human being.
A new lipstick gives you a whole new lease on life.
In high school, you never had to walk down the hall with your binder strategically positioned.
If you have to be home in time for Ally McBeal, you can say so, out loud.
If you’re not very attractive, you can fool ‘em with makeup.
If you use self-tanner, it doesn’t necessarily mean you’re a big loser.
You could possibly live your whole life without ever taking a group shower.
Brad Pitt!
You don’t have to fart to amuse yourself.
You’ll never have to decide where to hide your nose-hair clippers.
When you take off your shoes, nobody passes out.
If the person you’re dating is much better at something than you are, you don’t have to break up with him.
If you think the person your dating really likes you, you don’t have to break up with him
If you’re dumb, some people will find it cute.
You don’t have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in.
You can dress yourself.
Your hair is yours to keep.
If you ARE bald, people will think you did it on purpose, and you’re really chic.
You don’t have to pretend to like cigars.
You’ll never have to blow 2 months salary on anything.
If you marry someone 20 years younger, you know you look like an idiot.
You’re rarely compelled to scream at the TV.
You and your friends don’t have to get totally wasted in order to share your feelings.
If you pick up the check once in a while, that’s plenty.
Your friend won’t think you’re weird when you ask if there’s spinach in your teeth.
When you get a million catalogues in the mail, it’s a good thing.
Sometimes, chocolate truly can solve all your problems.
If you’re under 6′, you don’t have to lie about it.
You’ll never regret piercing your ears.
You can fully assess someone just by looking at his or her shoes.
You’ll never discover you’ve been fooled by a Wonderbra.
You don’t have hair on your back.
If anything on your body isn’t as big as it should be, you can get implants.
You can tell which glass was yours by the lipstick mark.
If you have big ears, no one has to know.
You can be attracted to someone just because they’re really funny.
You can borrow your spouse’s clothes and it doesn’t mean you belong on Jerry Springer.
Women love to shop. It is the one area of the world where they feel like they’re actually in control.
Women keep three different shampoos and two different conditioners in the shower. After a woman showers, the bathroom will smell like a tropical rain forest.
Women have better restrooms. They get the nice chairs and red carpet. M
What’s the color of your walls in your bedroom?